How to play
Everything the match will do to you
Nine players a side on an enclosed metal pitch, two halves of ninety seconds, and a clock that stops every time somebody is carried off. Below is every rule that decides anything.
The scoreboard
Violence pays. Literally.
Every figure on this board is a rule of the match. The pitch pays you for the ball, for the walls it hits, and for the opponent who stops getting up.
10
Goal
Through the opposing goal, the ordinary way.
10
Injury
An opponent stretchered off. Same price as a goal.
2
Wall star
Five of them. Light all five and the bonus lands.
2
Bounce dome
The ball comes back off it at an angle nobody chose.
×2
Multiplier
A gauge of lights both sides share. Drag it your way before you run it up.
90s
Per half
Two halves, and a stoppage every time a body goes down.
Controls
One stick. One button. That is all of it.
Built for a phone held in two hands. On a desktop: the arrows or WASD, and the space bar.
Tap to pass
A quick pass, along the ground, to the player the stick is pointing at.
Hold to shoot
Charge past 65% and the ball leaves in an arc. Keep steering after the throw and it curls.
Off the ball, it tackles
The same button. Speed and power decide whether the opponent stumbles, falls, or leaves on a stretcher.
Selection follows the play
You keep the player you are steering. A teammate who receives takes control the instant the ball lands.
The pitch fights back
Everything bolted to the arena wants a piece of the ball
Five families of fixture, all of them in play.
Wall stars
Five lightable targets on the side walls, two points each and a bonus for the full set. The other side can light one back and take those two points with it.
Bounce domes
Floor bumpers worth two points a hit. They also return the ball on a line neither team asked for.
Multiplier ramps
Roll the ball through and the shared gauge shifts one notch your way. Two notches ahead and everything you score counts double, the injury you were about to cause included.
Electro pads and warp gates
A charged ball knocks down whoever it touches. A warp gate takes it off one wall and spits it out of the other, at speed, behind your defence.
Coins and tokens
Coins are worth nothing on the scoreboard and everything in the gym. Tokens buy six seconds where the rules bend: frozen opponents, maxed ratings, a squad nobody can tackle.
The eight ratings
Every player carries the same eight ratings, from 1 to 99. They are what the gym sells and what a transfer buys.
| Code | Rating | What it decides | Gym cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| AGR | Aggression | Whether the player goes after an opponent who comes into their area. | 5 cr |
| ATT | Attack | How often a tackle actually takes the ball off someone. | 10 cr |
| DEF | Defence | How hard the ball is to take off you. | 10 cr |
| POW | Power | How hard the tackle lands, and how badly the opponent is hurt. | 10 cr |
| THR | Throwing | Release speed, and therefore how far across the pitch a pass reaches. | 10 cr |
| STA | Stamina | What stands between a hit and a stretcher. | 15 cr |
| SPD | Speed | Running speed, slide distance, jump distance. | 15 cr |
| INT | Intelligence | How well the player reads where the ball and everyone else will be. | 15 cr |
How a season ends
Two ways up, and a very short way out. Only League and Cup write a save file.
The table
Win 10, draw 5, plus one bonus point for every 10 game points scored in the match. Level on points is settled on points difference. Grinding out 1-0 wins is a strategy that loses seasons.
Promotion
Win Division 2 and you go up outright. Finish second and you host the seventh-placed Division 1 side over one match, sudden death if it is level.
The cup
Four rounds alongside the league, straight knockout. One match per tie, and a draw goes to sudden death.
Game over
Promotion in season one, the Division 1 title in season two. Neither is optional, and there is no season three.
Between matches
The club is a spreadsheet with a body count
Twelve players, eight ratings each, one bank account, and two seasons to make it work. Universal income keeps most people quiet. The rest sign up where violence still pays and the odds are set by humans.
The gym
Aggression costs 5 credits a point, most ratings 10, stamina, speed and intelligence 15. Twelve players and eight ratings is a lot of points to buy.
The transfer market
A star player costs a fee and one of your own. The window opens roughly one week in three, and it is rarely the better deal: building is meant to beat buying.
The bank
A league career starts on 1,100 credits. A win pays 200 in Division 2, 300 in Division 1, 500 for the championship, and the coins on the pitch pay 100 each.
The deadline
Promotion out of Division 2 in the first season, the Division 1 title in the second. Miss either and the career is over. There is no third season to put it right in.
The ball is already charged.
It runs in the browser. Nothing to install, nothing to sign up for, nothing to buy.
Play slagballBest with the phone in both hands and the sound on.